Checkmate

11 p.m.

As I think about how an Impassive Adult will be enjoying daily snow and would actually start realising how much of a magnificent sister I am in his upcoming faraway college days, I start realising how much of a brilliant person I am. For obvious reasons, he is quiet dumb unlike me. I have always been the sane one considering how I wouldn’t be pouting about how Doyenne wasn’t allowing me to attend a party due to solemn reasons. Let’s not talk about brilliance by deeming chess skills (however, I have, in fact, checkmate Impassive adult when I was in third grade).

I decide to make a How To Deal With College list. I am the reincarnated version of a College Priest, but, if you want to, criticism is always free to flow.

I, with no experience in college, write the top ten things that Impassive Adult must follow. No matter how online things are, these are prominent lessons to remember throughout life and not just college times (when you realise how magnificent your sister was). So here we go,

1. Stay wholly away from people who wear gold chains, have crooked teeth, and say, ‘What’s Poppin’’.

*I had been bumped into unimaginable GIFs and that counts as an experience*

2. Do not be in WhatsApp groups which have an alien profile picture.

3. Wear more than black at least once in a week.

*This one cannot be skipped. Until now Doyenne had added the leftover rainbow to his closet. I suspect him to be guilty of committing the Wear Black crime.*

4. Try not to be obsessed with Tesla.

*Seriously, do not. I don’t want Impassive Adult to come back and curse the lunch with Tesla discussions.*

5. Take care of my bookmark (it is a living creature).

*Not to mention you are technically not willing to give it back. Also, Doyenne and Oke pressurised me, otherwise that wouldn’t have been going in your luggage anyway.*

6. Reply to my texts the minute you see them (because they will probably be asking about how I transfer data from mobile to another, how I connect TV to Laptop, and how to open your closet).

*(Cons of not learning anything because you thought your elder sibling could do anything for you.)*

7. Be faster than YouTube.

*When you know, you know.*

8. Watch all the Spiderman Movies.

*If you don’t-*

9. Do NOT fist bomb anyone.

*Or I have another option for you, try to soften your knuckles like butter.*

10. Keep a box of tissues with you (because 98% kids turn fifty times emotional as they reach college, and you have never been the rare kind)

*Do not ask where I found the data, because you’ll probably cry after that too.*

*Gratis Bonus:

2015

Me: Moves a random piece with random knowledge as a third grader.

Impassive Adult: Did you- Did you just checkmate?

Me: Having no idea what a “checkmate” is.

: OF COURSE, I DID! Doyenne, look how I beat an Impassive Adult with something known as planning.